Custom «Julius Caesar Diary Exercise-Portia» Essay Paper Sample
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I love thy husband Brutus with all my heart. For that reason, I have completely devoted thy life to him. I have decided to live thy life for him until the end. However, he has stolen thy bed and when I asked him what was wrong with him yester night; he quickly woke up and went away. I insisted on knowing what was wrong with him, but he looked at me sternly without saying anything. Although he opted to remain silent, I told him that off late I have noted that something is terribly wrong with him (Act II, Scene ii 257-262). I felt very disturbed with his silence because I have used all means available to get to the bottom of things with no success. I am not happy with the way thy lord is keeping me out of his life and I am his wife.
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When I realized that thy lord would be returning to war with Octavious and Antony, thy possessive and loving nature could not allow me stay away from him. If thy husband is away especially in war, I find thy heart always troubled. I am especially disturbed with thy husband's obsession of wanting to kill Caesar the dictator to fulfill the public's wishes.
Thy husband recently revealed that he was not in good health. However, I know Brutus is a wise person and was he sick, he would leave nothing to chance to retain his health. Thy love is so secretive and this has left me wondering the necessary steps I should take to become a priority in everything he does. I was wondering whether I am just a harlot to him but he was quick to refer to me as his true wife that he honors the most. I realized that could be the reason he keeps me away from his problems not to get hurt.
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I am worried if thy lord is still fine for he went sickly forth (Act II, Scene iv 1138-1142). I have a very bad feeling because the whole society is looking up to him to kill Caesar and with his present condition, things might go bad. Thy boy Lucius can help to tell me what is happening at the Capitol. I therefore decide to send him there to take a good look at what Caesar has done and the condition of thy lord. Following the rumors of the situation at the capitol, I can hardly sleep a wink.
I don't like the idea that I am a Roman female who is not allowed to meddle in men's affairs even when it is thy husband. I no longer know whether to take up men's responsibilities or remain a woman. I know thy mind is that of a man with the power of a woman. For this reason, I find it hard to remain a woman. I have a strong feeling it might be the reason why Brutus has completely kept me out of his life.
I think I should end thy life. I have become so impatient with thy lord's absence. I am equally worried that Octavious and Anthony have gained a lot of power. I am not happy that I am never given an opportunity to speak my mind even when I have been denied my rights. For this reason, I would be at peace if thy life is silenced for good. I feel am no longer useful to the society and my husband Brutus. I will therefore disown thy lord and will never meet with him again. The words I have for him are burning my soul, and I would rather meet fire with fire.